Drabble Giveaway
by Keono
Summary: Requested drabbles from tumblr. Written in 2013. Drabbles unrelated to one another. Rating and genre vary per each drabble. Description for each drabble inside.
1. Requested by Sas9ri

**Genre:** Something funny? (include dumb puns for bonus points) andromanceofcourse

 **Rating:** (hope it's an option to say this) Whatever is convenient for you. I am horrible at decisions

 **Theme:** uh Food? Not understanding exactly, tell me if you need something else, please.

 **I'd like it to be AU, I guess.** Maybe they could be roommates or something if that's cool with you

Sasori's eye wouldn't stop twitching. No matter how many times he blinked, his lower lid would continue to spasm until he shoved the heel of his hand into his eye.

"I know it's your turn to make breakfast, but I don't think that angel food cake with bacon inside is considered a meal," he drawled, watching as Deidara went for yet another slice of the sweet yet contradictory salty food. He had woken up to a cold bed and the most confusing scents wafting into their bedroom. Deidara also decided that for desert they were having homemade chilly dogs with hamburger pieces sprinkles on top.

Deidara sprayed some whipped cream on top of the a spoonful of cake and smirked before taking a bite and shaking his head at Sasori's foolishness. "Silly, Danna. This is a well rounded meal, un!" he seemed a little too enthusiastic by this false point.

"It's not anymore, now that you ate half of it, brat," Sasori muttered as he eyed the blonde's toned physique. Where the hell did it all go?! He knew that both he and Deidara had a _very_ active intimate life but the blonde was something else.

"Well, we're just celebrating the holidays early is all, un. Lighten up and have some," Deidara said, trying to entice Sasori with a spoonful of his masterpiece.

Sasori raised a brow and lowered his hand, his eye now stopping it's twitching. "How is this holiday food?" he eyed the food with a curl of his lip once he realized it smelled _good_. Deidara's weird tastes were rubbing off on him.

Deidara stuck out his lip and pondered a moment, letting his food drop onto Sasori's plate. "Uh, duh, angels and... bacon. Something about angels with a baby in a barn. There were pigs there I think..."

Sasori had to repress a long drawn-out sigh as he picked up the cake with his fingers, noticing the bacon inside. Shaking his head, he muttered, "Happy holidays." before taking a bite. A few seconds later he had asked Deidara to pass the whipped cream.


	2. Requested by blondejokerin

**Romance, M, AU, stripper theme**

Sasori generally didn't like going to strip clubs. It may have been because the alcohol was over-priced, or the cheap cologne that hung in the air was stifling from the many creeps wearing it. But it was most likely because he was dragged here for all of his birthdays, his friends trying to buy him a lap dance, just like right now.

He had of course refused, claiming he didn't want stripper sweat on his new suit and decided to sit at the bar where he could watch the show from afar. Hidan seemed to have given up trying to convince Sasori at the moment and instead payed attention to Kakuzu who was grumbling about something. Sasori didn't know how fucked up they were, but he wouldn't take his boyfriend (if he had one) to a strip club in their spare time. Although they claimed it was just for him.

As Sasori got his glass of whiskey and coke, he scowled at the price, and took a small sip before turning his eyes back onto the show. The strippers were changing to males which meant that they showed up on time but Hidan kept on swearing about someone. "You're going to fucking love him!" Sasori ignored the deadly look Kakuzu sent to Hidan.

Sasori continued to watch as the lights went out and a few seconds later a siren went off and the stage lights flashed on, showing a figure clad in baggy yellow overalls and a red hat. Sasori recognized the outfit to symbolize firefighters, but he sure most firefighters didn't have long blonde hair flowing down their back. The music started and Sasori saw an axe slung across the man's shoulders before he swung it around once sensually before holding it close to his crotch and rocking into it, licking his lips with a smirk.

Sasori almost thought the man looked too young, but that wasn't uncommon in this business, and not when this blonde was doing such a good job. His figure was almost like that of a woman but his hips were obviously narrower and his body was more toned which was obvious once he ripped off his pants, receiving many whistles and screeches from the ladies down below, who threw many dollar bills at him.

He continued to do things with his axe, licking it going around the pole with it and at one point he spied his eyes across the room, and they landed on Sasori and stayed there. Hidan nudged him, but the redhead didn't notice, now in an intense stare-off with this stranger and the man winked his too-blue eyes at him before continuing his routine.

He began gyrating his hips against the stage, receiving more hollers from the women but his eyes found his once more and he began to lick his lips before getting up and moving aside for another show coming up. It was only a minute later when that same blonde walked up to him from his dressing room, now black silky robe, but the same smirk was on his face.

"I'm sorry, but I think I have to have you come in for questioning, un." The blonde leaned in close to him and Hidan snickered as he talked to the bartender, giving him a fold of bills, making it out to a Deidara. Sasori assumed Deidara was the stripper that was nearly straddling him.

"I thought you were a firefighter?" Sasori questioned and Deidara lowered his eyelids before leaning in close to whisper in his ear.

"You've started a fire, now you have to put it out," he answered before biting his ear.


	3. Requested by explosive-clay

**Genre; Yaoi ^/^**

 **Rating; Idk Xd**

 **Theme; Christmas? xd**

 **Au ^^**

"Oh no, you really didn't have to, un," Deidara said with false enthusiasm that his coworker didn't catch. She had such a mirthful grin on that Deidara couldn't really tell her that homemade, glutton-free, vegan cookies weren't his absolute favorite. But he did anyway and took a bite of one just to appease her and she wished him a merry Christmas before shimmying off to give more cookies to their boss.

Deidara managed to swallow the undercooked dough before he checked his wristwatch and swore silently to himself. He slid into his jacket and threw on his scarf before leaving the building unannounced to get home to a, most likely, angry boyfriend. It was only a two block walk to his shared apartment, but with the dropping temperatures and endless amount of white shit falling from the sky, it seemed like a mile.

Once he got into the lobby, he shook off the snow in his hair before untying his scarf and saying a hello to the doorman. In the privacy of the elevator he ran through the excuses in his head for a reason as to why he was late. He looked down at the plate of saran-wrapped cookies and considered that as a good enough apology gift.

He saw his door at the end of the carpeted hall and took out his keys to unlock it but before he could even slide it into the lock, the door opened to reveal his nearly pensive lover who was wearing a cozy red sweater with a well-fitted pair of jeans that hugged his ass nicely as Deidara had told him before.

He put on his best smile as he tried to step it. "Hi, Da–" The door was abruptly shut in his face and Deidara sighed as he heard the lock click shut. "Danna," He whined, knocking on the door before unlocking it and stepping inside. "Don't be mad, un."

"You were supposed to be home an hour ago to help cook, you fucking brat, not get drunk at an office party," Sasori hissed as he took a casserole out of the oven. Even in an apron, Sasori looked like he could strangle you with his mitten-covered hands.

"I didn't drink, un. And I already told you I had to stay that long or else I wouldn't get my bonus." Deidara set the cookies on the counter as he got snapped at for wearing his wet boots in the kitchen. "I brought you some cookies," He supplied as an excuse as he kicked off his boots in the entryway.

Sasori eyed them and moved the wrapper to sniff one before taking a bite. He hummed lightly and spat out the cookie before glaring at the blonde with complete malice. "Did you make these?" Deidara gulped and just nodded, hoping he wouldn't have to help cook. Sasori quickly shoved him out of the kitchen. "You aren't cooking shit, brat!"

Deidara smiled lightly as Sasori threw his scarf at him but he caught it and pulled the redhead closer to him before pecking at his lips. "Thanks for everything, Danna, un."

Sasori blushed just barely but he frowned slightly before he cleared his throat. "You're welcome, Deidara. Now get out of my kitchen."


	4. Requested by i-am-that-monster

**Genre: Romance**  
 **Rating: Probably M**  
 **Theme: Christmas but I'm happy with anything. Another suggestion could be one of them is injured and the other finds him and cares for him.**  
 **Universe: Narutoverse**

Deidara could mask his emotions easily when he tried. Just throw on a smug grin, act like you don't give a fuck, and blow shit up. It was easy to cover up the pain of a long battle, even when he had been stabbed through his thigh, or a sword grazed his arm. It wasn't easy to hide it from Sasori though.

"I told you I'm fine, Danna, un," Deidara groused down at the large hunk of wood that Sasori called a puppet.

"There is a trail of blood behind you, you idiot," Hiruko's voice snapped and a second later, Sasori was stepping out of the puppet with a look of irritation on his face. Deidara's uncovered eye narrowed when Sasori dug through the puppet and grabbed a small bag before he took Deidara by his injured arm and nearly flung him into a tree.

"Hey, watch it, bastard!" Deidara was in the middle of making an obscene gesture when Sasori made him sit down against the trunk while he kneeled down next to him and he took out a roll of bandages, not muttering a word to the blonde before Deidara huffed impatiently.

"Take off your cloak," Sasori ordered with a crisp tone, which meant he wasn't entirely mad. Deidara eyed him and shucked off the material before Sasori tore it off. Sasori grabbed Deidara's canteen and poured some water over the bloodied opening and Deidara didn't even see the syringe until it was jabbed right near the gash, making him jump lightly. "If you were watching what you were doing, this wouldn't even be happening, brat," Sasori muttered as he pushed the plunger down. It was probably some antibiotics, Deidara thought, because it sure as hell wasn't numbing the pain.

Deidara rolled his eyes and held back a grimace as Sasori got a surgical needle and medical thread to stitch him back up. He smirked when he was being poked at, his nerves screaming but he easily masked it. "But then I wouldn't have you on your knees for me, Danna, un."

Sasori didn't stop his stitching as he gazed up at the blonde with a dark look but he pulled hard on the thread instead. Deidara wasn't able to stop his flinch. "All done," Sasori assessed as he tied up the string, then poured more water over it before wrapping bandages around his arm, tying it off with a little bow.

"Finally, un," Deidara muttered as he tried to stand but Sasori stopped him with chakra threads. The blonde looked up at him in outrage but Sasori simply smirked as he looked down at the gash in the blonde's thigh before raising a brow in suggestion.

"Take off your pants."


	5. Requested by theshadowmoon

**Genre: Romance**

 **Rating: Mature and up**

 **Theme: Demon's (AU, psychological, metaphorical, etc whatever you want)**

Usually, this was the only time they could think. _Really_ think, at least for Deidara. When his body slotted up against another's, the one he would call his lover, if he felt love, he found his mind opening up and contemplating his world. He didn't think of the ravenous desire for mortals, their emotions as he sucked them dry through their fear. All there was was this.

He had grown to love (in reality, just admire) the color red, reminding him of blood when he ravaged villages, ate flesh and snatched up souls. But recently the color is reminding him of the head peaking up from between his thighs, brown eyes sending him mischievous looks from underneath the shadows of his horns.

Like this, Deidara just concentrated on _feeling_ and would even begin to think when he started having the sensations of emotions again. A nip to his inner thigh brought him from his thoughts and he hissed in sweet pleasure as blood was drawn and lapped at, so close to his aching need, but too far away.

Only when he spread his legs apart wider and he begged like a harlot would he get some satisfaction, and everything would become clear. The pale body sliding up his own, shared his coldness, hips shifting to tease him further into submission. Deidara could feel every jerk of the hips against his own, long nails scratching down his sides while barbed teeth bit at his bottom lip and drawing blood once more before sucking it down.

Deidara allowed all of it, arching his back and bucking his hips to get lost and float around in the sensations before he would reach the zenith of his pleasure. That was when he felt _alive_ after so many centuries. He had known the creature on top of him for decades who, eons ago, had lost his humanity but Deidara's seemed to have clung on without his consent.

His thoughts usually buried him up until the point of being breached where he would toss his head back with a hiss, then groan as he clawed at the demon's back with equally long claws before he was chastised with another nip to his lips. Then, he was practically bent in half, his knees nearly touching his shoulders while his hips were grabbed forcefully, claws digging into his flesh.

He allowed this. All of this. The slow pull and push of hips combining with an undulating motion that made Deidara see the nonexistent heavens above. The creature above knew what this did to him and gave him his time to ponder as he suckled on a spot under his jaw. But before too long, he would become impatient and take what was his. Deidara's thoughts would rush and soon it would all be over and all he would be able to feel again would be the hunger in his belly. Whether it be for the sweet flesh of mortals, or the cold one of the demon inside him, he would obtain it.


	6. Requested by Sand wielding garra

**well I'm not sure if it's too late, if it is it's ok but the genre would be horror, rating T or up, preferably an AU and for the theme well it can be the effects of loss (of corse the characters are Sasori x Deidara) again I apologize for not responding in time and do not blame you if you have redrawn. Thank you and happy holidays!~**

It was everywhere. The pity, the looks from others that thought him to be weak. The words, "I'm so sorry for your loss." and, "I'm here if you need someone to talk to." One woman went even as far as to say, "Maybe you should see someone? Like a therapist?"

Did one death make him so emotionally unstable? Did that mean that he needed help? His fiancé had died, that was true but that did not mean that he was a mess. Someone even mentioned to him that he looked like nothing had affected him and asked if he was okay. What a stupid question. Of course he wasn't okay but he wasn't going to lose his cool. Not yet.

Sasori was always composed. When he woke up in the hospital with nearly half his body mummified in bandages and casts, he had to listen to the doctor as he told him that the passenger did not survive. At that moment it felt like someone had done a vivisection on him, ruined him, and put everything back incorrectly. He was told later on that a teen was texting on her phone when she hit them. She and her family even came to funeral to apologize and offer condolences, but when they came up to Sasori had brushed them off, knowing that it was her fault that his other half was missing.

The wake and funeral were closed casket and most of the guests talked to Deidara's parents instead. Just hearing his name sent Sasori nearly catatonic but he shoved it down. _His_ parents organized all of it and they seemed to have most of the pity which they accepted in splendor. Only when they were done being fawned over did anyone consider asking how he felt. The first person that asked, he had looked at him with wonder and replied, "Like shit." before walking away.

He was the afterthought when it came to Deidara's life. They weren't married yet, no _real_ commitment even though they knew each other for five years. A few weeks after the funeral was when he got the attention he never wanted. None of them would let him grieve in piece, always bringing it up again and he couldn't find time for himself to just cry at their apartment. He had been in the middle of grieving when movers knocked on his door. They were sent by Deidara's parents to take their son's things back.

Sasori let them, knowing that there was no fighting the parents who were also grieving, but he kept the one thing that Deidara made him when they had first started dating. A clay sculpture of a bird, plus a picture of the two of them framed by the bedside table.

After that, Sasori swore he couldn't feel, not even the cold spot in his bed where Deidara once slept. He knew soon, the numbness would turn into slow agony and he would do something that he never thought he would. But at the moment, he was silently grieving for the loss of the best part of him.


	7. Requested by catalystphilosophies

**Angst, T, ninjaverse. The deeper meaning behind our art**

Sasori had been the one to find him once they got separated during the fight. Deidara had laughed when he told him that taking on so many shinobi would be easy.

But as Sasori kneeled down and looked at the blonde's half-lidded eyes he knew that Deidara's death was inevitable, with all of his reckless actions, not caring if he died or not.

Sasori pulled the sword out from Deidara's abdomen carefully, the blonde's body lifting from the ground gently as it finally slid free. Once it was removed, he pulled Deidara's body into his arms before lifting him up from the ground and walking deeper into the forest.

Deidara was gone now and he knew that his body would be gone, it wasn't eternal like Sasori's but Sasori's memory of his partner would never change. His feelings for him would be everlasting on him, a brand.

Deidara had died and he could finally rub it in Sasori's face that art was not eternal and Sasori would give him that, but the man didn't necessarily die the death he had always wanted.

Sasori bet that if Deidara _could_ talk at the moment, they would be arguing over who was right. Sasori would even threaten the blonde that he would change his body into a puppet, and Deidara would curse him to the deepest pits of hell if he ever did that. This pretend banter gave Sasori some peace.

But Deidara would never do that as he lay limp in Sasori's arms, his body swaying just barely with Sasori's sure steps. With all of their years together, they had learned to coexist and Sasori nearly believed that even their views managed to blend together but it would never reach it's peak with Deidara's beliefs suddenly falling out.

When they reached a clearing that led up towards the sky, Sasori finally set the blonde down, making sure to place his arms neatly beside his body, legs straight out. With a small look at his ashen face, he reached over and closed his eyes before leaning down to kiss his forehead. Once he was done, he reached down to the blonde's hips to grab his clay bag. Placing a lump of clay on the bombers chest, he attached an explosive tag to it and walked to the edge of the clearing.

Making one hand sign, the tag ignited and began to burn away and as soon as the last sparks touched the clay, a loud _boom_ filled the clearing and the blonde's body erupted into flames as the explosion overtook his body.

Sasori's faux hair blew back wildly from the blast but his body remained still as the fire continued to burn and he pushed his chakra outwards, feeling the heat of the flames.

He would give Deidara this, give him the proper death he deserved. He would remember this day and he would carry it on with him. It would be eternal to him just as Deidara would be.


	8. Requested by scorpion-stings

**Genre; Romance and Adventure**

 **Rating; M?**

 **AU: Modern**

They both liked this, _loved_ was a better feeling but that was too dramatic in their eyes. They didn't necessarily love each other but what they had was pretty damn close to it.

They loved finding a cramped, unlocked closet where they could grope and neck at each other all they wanted without the prejudice eyes following their every move. Though there was another reason why they left the door unlocked during this time. There was always that certain thrill that was gained when there was a chance that they could be caught in a compromising situation. It wasn't exactly public sex, but it was close to it.

But when this thrill hit, both of them went into a frenzy. Sasori currently had Deidara against the wall, both of his hands gripping his hips tightly before rucking up his shirt just lightly to circle his hipbones with his thumbs. He pushed his thigh between the blonde's legs, hearing his ragged breath in his own ear as Deidara pulled him closer and bite his earlobe.

Sasori crashed their lips together, Deidara groaning as their teeth clashed but Sasori didn't care and just pushed harder before shoving his tongue into Deidara's mouth to play. They ground against each other as hands began to wander again, Deidara's going down to his ass before groping him, pulling him closer to increase the strength of his undulating thrusts.

At one point, they moved around so much they knocked a vacuum over, but neither of them cared as they managed to get under each other's shirts. Sasori did well to work his way up Deidara's abdomen to get to his chest, teasing as much as he could along the way, wanting to feel all of Deidara's tremors and hear his gasps in his ear right before his lobe was bitten again.

They had been caught in this position before, with Sasori teasing Deidara's nipples, while the blonde managed to get his belt buckle undone along with his zipper. Unfortunately, it wasn't someone important and she just turned beet red before running away with a nearly hysterical apology.

They usually never got to sex because they didn't _always_ carry condoms and lube with them but a hand-job wasn't too much trouble. Sasori managed to tweak one of the blonde's nipples who just yelped (a very manly yelp he would add) before he was pushed off and the blonde shoved him against the wall.

Sasori chuckled breathlessly as Deidara pinned his hands by his head and began biting his neck, sucking soon following afterwards. Deidara's hands released his own and Sasori went to grab his hips against to massage them as Deidara began unbuckling his jeans, right when the door opened.

Deidara's little sister looked into the closet with a disgusted look and snorted. "Mom and Dad are going to kill you if you aren't back in the next ten seconds." She then left with a slam of the door and Deidara looked up at Sasori with a sly smirk before pecking his lips and pulling at his pants.

Maybe this wasn't a good first impression of Sasori, but he and Deidara were grown adults and could make out in any closet they wanted to. Plus the thrill nearly sent them over the edge before their touches ever did.


End file.
